Since Time Immoral Lyrics
Not Sixteen Til Sunday
As I walked out one June morning;
One June morning so early.
T'was there I spied a fair pretty maid,
Just as her skirt was a rising.
With me rhubarb pie,
On the fiddle I,
Right up the middle I go,
Her stockings white her skirt was tight,
Her suspenders shone like silver.
She had a dark and a rolling eye,
And another one quite similar.
How old are you my fair pretty maid,
How old are you my honey?
I know you sort was her retort,
And I'm not sixteen till Sunday.
Will you take a man my fair pretty maid,
Will you take a man my honey bright?
She answered me most cheerfully,
I dare not but my mummy might.
So I went down to her mummy's house,
Were a red light shone so clearly.
But the girl come down and she let me in,
And I laid in her arms till the morning.
Oh soldier will you marry me,
For I will have no one else.
Oh no said I that just cannot be,
For I'm not sixteen myself.
The Male Female Highwayman
It's of a female highwayman all on a summer's day
She said a frolic I will have and dress in man's array
And I'll ride out along the lea
And hope my true love I shall see
And there I'll test his constancy
With a female highwayman.
With a female highwayman
With a female highwayman
--last two lines of verse--
And so this female highwayman has mounted on a horse
And she's rode out and there she's met her own true
love, of course
" Stand and deliver sir", she said,
" Or if you don't I'll shoot you dead
Or would you rather come to bed
With a female highwayman?"
So they jogged on together till they came unto an inn
And there they called an ostler and boldly they walked
in
They called for liquors of the best,
They went upstairs and got undressed
What happened next can ne'er be guessed
To the female highwayman
For she's pulled off her breeches and likewise her
jacket red
She's taken off her velvet cape and lay upon the bed.
Her true love in amazement stands
It seems the end of all his plans
For she has proved to be a man
This female highwayman.
Her true love stands like one amazed and at her did
stare
But when the joke he did find out he loudly did
declare:
" Fear not my love, it's time to smile"
He threw his clothes down in a pile
He was a female all the while
For the female highwayman
The Unlaid Maid
A fair young maid of seventeen I am;,
And I have never once laid with a man.
But that's not through lack of trying,
And that is why I'm sighing.
And I'll tell you all about it if I can.
So I sing oh dear, oh how can it be,
I can't find a man that will satisfy me?
Young Roger looked so handsome I could weep,
With his hair of brown and eyes of blue so deep.
At the wake I got excited,
But my lust went unrequited.
On the way back from the wake he fell asleep.
On our farm a pretty ploughboy was employed,
I made a tryst that he could not avoid.
I took him to a shady wood,
But that did me no good,
For it was other pretty ploughboys he enjoyed.
An old friar showed an interest in me charms,
And I couldn't wait till I lay in his arms.
But as he tripped to my bed,
He tripped into the well instead,
And that wasn't just his pride that came to harm.
I met a man all on the beach one day,
He had skin like silk as on the sand we lay.
But before we got to sinnin'
The tide come running in.
And he turned into a seal and swam away.
So you can see that I am still intact,
Though that's certainly not effort that I lacked.
When I've rumpled up me gown,
The men have let me down.
And I just can't do it all on my own back.
All On The Shore (The Body)
As I was a walkin' along the seaside
Along the shore at Overstrand
I met with a body washed up by the tide
Along the shore a long time ago
I took him to Southrepps, the place he was born
And straightway to Northrepps, the place he was known
I emptied his bowels and pulled out his feet
And garnished him over with parsley so sweet.
I pulled out his toenails and likewise his teeth
And sent them to Knapton wrapped up in a leaf
I poked out his eye with a rusty old nail
And emptied his giblets out into a pail
I cut off his legs and likewise his arms
And then I chopped off all his masculine charms
I pulled out his liver, his kidneys as well
Because he was dead, as best I could tell
Hollow Ground
Oh I bought my wife a bread knife,
hollow ground, hollow ground.
A stainless Sheffield bread knife,
hollow ground, hollow ground.
But my missus didn't like it,
bellowed loud, bellowed loud.
She said she wouldn't take it,
bellowed loud, bellowed loud.
I felt sure she'd change her mind,
mellow down, mellow down.
And would once again prove kind,
mellow down, mellow down.
But she called me a young fool,
callow clown, callow clown.
To buy such a stupid tool,
callow clown, callow clown.
Oh the bread we have's all sliced,
narrow rounds, narrow rounds.
So should I be in a trice in
narrow rounds, narrow rounds.
Well her first blow that did pink me,
shallow wound, shallow wound
But her second blow did sink me,
shallow wound, shallow wound.
And now my wife has killed me,
gallows bound, gallows bound.
With my own good steel she filled me,
gallows bound, gallows bound.
And soon I shall be buried,
fallow ground, fallow ground.
To my grave I shall be ferried,
fallow ground, fallow ground.
Oh I bought my wife a bread knife,
hollow ground, hollow ground.
A stainless Sheffield bread knife,
hollow ground, hollow ground.
Dido, Fido
Well one morning last autumn I was walking my dogs
When the Duke of Wellington we did meet.
Well Bonzo and Rover, they slobbered him all over,
While Dido nearly knocked him off his feet.
Well there was....
Dido, Fido, Bonzo and Rex
Rover and Lassie and Spot
There was Butch, there was Candy
There was Patch and there was Sandy
These were the dogs what I had got.
Well don't worry sir I said,
He won't hurt you that's just
His way of saying he like you a lot.
But he took my little dog, and he kicked him in the
bog
And said that's my way of showing I do not.
There was.....
Now the next dog being old, he was a trifle deaf
He couldn't hear a single word I said.
And so when I told him sit, he made an awful mess.
When I cleaned it up I shot the bugger dead.
That still left....
Now the next dog being daft, and not all the ticket
He made straight away for the river.
And there he did jump in, but the bugger couldn't swim
That's the last we saw of him forever.
There was.....
They chased a rabbit o'er the plain,
but that chased 'em back again
Which put my poor old dogs in quite a stew.
Now it's just 12 months today
Since I heard the squire say
" I should have them all put down, if I was you."
There was.....
The Village P.I.M.P.
He's a man who takes a liberated view;
If you ask him he will fix a rendezvous,
If you'd like to spend a night of unparalleled
delight.
Then he'll see you right, he is the village pimp,
The village pimp, The village Pimp,
The village P_I_M_P, pimples on the pimp.
La dee dah and Fall dee rall dee ray
There are rusty cars and worn out beds and tins,
And there are piles of rubbish thrown from peoples
bins,
And there are dirty magazines and a tatty pair of
jeans.
That's the eyesore of the village that's the dump.
The village dump, the village dump,
The village D_U_M_P, dump the rubbish dump.
Well there's a slummocking great mawther that we know,
As she walks along she wobbles to and fro,
Like a bus she's been designed and there's another one
behind.
She is what the boys all call the village rump,
The village rump, the village rump,
The village R_U_M_P, blimey what a rump.
When he hobble through the village with a stick,
He's bent almost double, He can't move to quick.
In the belfry there he dwells where he swings among
the bells,
He's the village Quasimodo with the hump.
The village hump, the village hump,
The village H_U_M_P, shoulders with a hump.
If the ministry of agriculture calls,
Requesting paperwork that drives you up the walls.
Don't get tied up like spaghetti just call for the
Olivetti.
Of the girl who'll help you out the village temp.
The village temp, The village temp,
The village T_E_M_P temporary temp.
Well every Christmas time we book a bar and a band,
With a woman and a pint in either hand.
Well we must look a real sensation in our improper
formation,
As we dance the light fantastic at the romp.
The village romp, the village romp,
The village R_O_M_P, stomping at the romp.
Well in the back room of the pub they whisper low,
'Bout something that our bobby'd like to know,
If he knew just what they got, then he'd confiscate
the lot.
There's a new supply arrived the village hemp.
The village hemp, the village hemp,
The village H_E_M_P, the dopes have got some hemp.
The other day we met a certain VIP,
Who represents us on the EEC,
He drove a limousine such as we had never seen,
And impressed us with his circumstance and pomp.
The village pomp, the village pomp,
The village Euro MP, Pomp, pomp, pomp.
The Pharmacist
The sun had set behind the hill across the dreary moor,
When sickly and lame a boy there came up to a doctor's door.
Can you tell me where e'er there be one who can me assist
To cure my ills, prescribe me pills, and be a pharmacist,
And be a pharmacist ?
My fathers dead, my mother too, and I'm not too well myself,
So I'd be glad if you could spare some medicine from your shelf.
If I can stop inside your shop out of the fog and mist,
I'll work all day to earn my pay and be a pharmacist,
And be a pharmacist.
The doctors wife said, Cure the lad, he seems so pale and sick.
Yes father do, cried his daughter dear, these pills should do the trick.
Don't make him go out in the snow, I really must insist,
But let him stay and earn his pay and be a pharmacist
And be a pharmacist.
The man that was a boy is now assistant in the shop,
But at pharmacist's assistant he was not prepared to stop.
And often he'd look at the poisons book, and find there in the list,
That there's many a potion to aid his notion to be a pharmacist,
To be a pharmacist.
So that was not surprising when the poor old couple died,
Which left the boy the business and the daughter for a bride.
A knowing gleam in his eye was seen, as bride and bridegroom kissed,
Blast me, he say, now that's the way to be a pharmacist,
To be a pharmacist.
Lightweight Dirge
Our master of old have now passed away.
At peace and at rest, we may all see him lay.
We've one consolation now we are unmastered.
Until his last breath, he was a real bastard.
Every man had a good word for he,
But will not repeat it in company.
His life it was long, which made ours seem longer.
When we feed him hemlock, that just made him stronger.
When we cut off his beard, and set fire to his
stubble,
He untied out cottages, and reduced them to rubble.
He was fond of animals, especially of horses.
So we pulled the plough while he went to racecourses.
He also loved children and tried without cease,
By night and by day, to make their numbers increase.
On his common land, we had grazing rights.
But you don't get fat eating grass every night.
He gave us each year a long holiday.
That came in the winter without any pay.
Now he is gone, his life is complete.
We will place a large stone at his head and his feet.
These stones are all prepared, indeed, truth to tell,
That was them falling on him that sent him to hell.